I recognize that I and my practice is a small sample size. However, there is a body of research backing up what I’m about to write. So bear with me. I just don’t happen to have all the citations I should probably have. 

Picking your partner is probably the single most important decision that contributes to your happiness in life. Pick the right career(s) is a close second. Somewhere in there is making sure you are sleeping enough and well enough. Because between those three things, work, sleep, spouse, you’re looking at about 95% of your life. If any of them are out of whack… good luck. 

I really want to emphasize that there are really strong trends with us ADHDers but that we are still all our own unique snowflakes. Even “the vast majority” does not mean “all.” But here are some things to think about when considering a career and/or a career change. 

I’ll start by breaking down my current clients by profession. This is just a moment in time. A snapshot. And, it is inherently biased, influenced by me and my style. But…

• 3 Doctors, Pedi ER, Family Doc, Dev. Pedi

• 3 Computer Programmers / Tech People

• 2 Nurses

• 2 Therapist/Social Workers

• 2 Artist

• 1 Teacher, Elementary PE

• 1 Artist/Teacher/Entrepreneur 

• 1 UPS driver

• 4 College Students (Med school, PreVet, Entertainment/Media, Anthro)

• 1 High School Student

I would say that this is actually pretty representative of my practice over the ten years I’ve been coaching. Except I usually have more teachers. 

Here’s what you see. Start with the most obvious, the UPS driver, but go deeper. Of the 15 adult clients, there are 5 people who move for a living. There are 9 people who are in helping professions. 2 more who are training to be. 3 Artists. And, if you put the doctors, the programmers and the therapist together, that’s 8 people who are essentially professional problem solvers. These things are all themes in the ADHD community. Again, that’s not to say that everyone will fit those categories. In fact some of the folks check those boxes in very different ways. Most of them are happy with what they do. A few of them aren’t. 

I think the bottom line if figuring out what feeds your soul and stimulates you and then figuring out a way to monetize that. Sometime it’s easier than others. But I never thought I’d be doing what I’m doing. And I find it tremendously fulfilling and it pays the bills. Who knew?

Standard Disclaimer:  In an effort to foil my own perfectionist tendencies, I do not edit my posts much… if at all. Please excuse and typ0s, Miss Steaks, grammatical errors, awkward phrasing. I focus on getting my content out. In my humble opinion, an imperfect post posted is infinitely better than a perfect post conceptualized but unfinished.

I will preface this by saying that I know that this is easier said than done. But I think the secret to life is not giving a shit what the world thinks about you. Of course, I believe myself to be a moral, ethical, good person. And, there are definitely people out there who need the restraints of what people think to keep them in line. But in our ADHD tribe, at least amongst the folks with whom I deal, there is a profound lack of confidence, a sense that everyone is judging us. And, I am not worried about us running amok when freed from this anxiety. We should not fear the proverbial scarlet letter. On the contrary. We should wear our “A” proudly. 

I think I’ll write a longer post about how to really build self esteem in the near future. That’s complicated. It could be a lengthy and meditative piece. But, I’ll be pithy and to the point today. Three things prompted me to write this post. 

1. I saw a woman in a black hoodie at Wegmans last week that had a very simple message on it in white letters: “I’m not for everyone.” I loved it.

2. I was talking with a client yesterday who referred to herself back in med school as “the barefoot girl.” She was remembering a time when she didn’t care what anyone thought. I suggested that she get back in touch with the “barefoot girl” and stop caring again.

3. My favorite palm tree on vacation. See picture. All the other palm trees are reaching for the sky. But one seems to be going for the ocean. And it seems to be doing fine! Personally, I’m much more skeptical of the millions of people doing the exact same thing than I am of the person who has their own plans and ideas.